Transition Motherhood

Well, here I am again and thinking how I'd be busy with finalizing grades and rehearsing graduates if I were still employed :). Instead, I have been busy using our blender making veggie and fruit smoothies. (We have been at it for almost a week now...Maybe because the blender is new. Haha!) At church, the theme is all about transitions. And so, I was thinking of sharing my own little transition to motherhood that has led me to my current state of (often but not always) blissful unemployment. This is also to give a little heads up to several dear friends who for the first time are very tummy expectant :).

Still some what groggy here...

When I gave birth via caesarean section, I wasn't able to hold my baby until three days after. The first time I saw him again, after our operation room stint, was in the room beside the NICU, so I can nurse him. And there I was still wobbly on my feet with a dangling dextrose to deal with, receiving a squirming bundle in my shakey arms...I'd like to say it was a tender moment, but it was more like a scary moment (nyaha) because I did not know what to do! The nurse taught me how to nurse him (which true to what I read doesn't come naturally at once), and left me on my own with my baby. That was when he started wailing and I couldn't make him stop. I guess he was complaining that there wasn't any milk coming out of me! The nurse finally rescued me saying that he was probably still hungry...whew!

Lola Milcah and Hansy...

  That is why I am so grateful that my Mamaski chose to spend money on plane fare (instead of just sending the mullah to me) and be with me for a month after I gave birth. Because truth is I was clueless when it came to practical application even after reading a lot about taking care of a wee one, and that is OK. That is natural. That was an awesome experience learning the ropes to Handling Baby 101 :).

 It is normal not to be OK and need help during the first few weeks. 

 

Then, there was the breastfeeding struggle. I wanted to breastfeed for several reasons:

1. It is the healthiest choice for Hansy.
2. It is the most affordable choice for our budget.
3. It is supposed to help me get rid of most of the preggy fats :).

Imagine my frustration when no milk would come out of me the first week, and when finally I had milk (after consuming lots of liquid and milk-generating food), the Hansy chose the bottle over me! I was on the verge of tears and despair (well that is a slight exaggeration but you get the picture) when a miracle happened :). Mamaski thought of giving him the bottle but in the middle of feeding take it away to be replaced by my very own breast. And wallah it worked! It was the start of our official breastfeeding season, so successful that he utterly refused the bottle after days with Mum's fresh milk :).

So, KEEP TRYING if you first fail in your breastfeeding attempt. It takes time and practice to start the milk flowing and get the hang of latching on.

When I was still pregnant towards the last few months, I was often awake in the middle of the night because I felt extremely uncomfortable. I couldn't pinpoint what the problem exactly was but that my tummy had to do with it :). Now, that he's outside of me, I still stay awake in the middle of the night to nurse him, change his diaper or just play with a wide-awake little boy! I know some people who followed the Baby Wise method. (Sadly, I wasn't able to get a copy of the book.) It supposedly helps you set a routine with baby, so that you get a good night's rest (among other things). There is a lot of information (and a lot of debate) between this "routine" and on-demand feeding that has made me feel dizzy, confused and worried that I haven't been doing the right thing. ( But of course, this is true about everything related to taking care of and raising a child! Haha!) Through all this, a sterling advice that I've received from Mamaski (and some like-minded writers on the net) is that ultimately you know yourself and your baby best. Do what works for you. 

It's good to research on the how to's and read up on all the different ways to raise your precious little one, but remember in the end you are the best authority on your baby.   

Then, there is cloth diapering. Gone are the lampin and safety pin days to make way for modern cloth diapering. Hurray!!! I've always been bothered about the pile of disposable diaper junk Hansy would generate in a day. (Not to mention the expense of buying them!) That's why when I saw a friend's post about the World Diaper Change event, I started researching on cloth diapers here in the Philippines. I'm so glad we now have local brands that are more affordable. To name a few are Baby Leaf, Alva, and Next9.  You need to shell out more in the beginning, but in the long run they help you save up because they are reusable and come with snaps to adjust for size. We still buy disposable diapers for emergencies (like when the rain keeps our nappies from drying), but still I buy so much less than I would have without my cloth diapers! Price range is somewhere between 200.00 php to 450.00 php per diaper, depending on the brand and seller. Here again FB is my best friend! I found legitimate online sellers there, and recently I saw more are being sold in the malls now. Check out Baby Leaf, Baby Dei Stuff Shop, Thrifty Momma Shoppe, and Baby Chic Boutique at FB to give you some idea :). ( I think I need to write a separate post on this! So much to discuss!) 
 

Sure it may feel like cloth diapering is more work, but whether you buy only one cloth diaper or a whole bunch of them, it is a good investment!

Another great discovery is babywearing! I do not have the convenience of an extra pair of hands when hubby is at work. So, if I want to go to the market, the bank, or pay bills, Hansy has to come with me. Imagine how difficult that is to handle with a squirming child in your arms! My Saya baby carrier has saved the day for me! (This is available at www.motheringearthlings.com.) He isn't so heavy to carry when his weight is evenly distributed around my shoulders and back, and it frees my hands to do other stuff. There are other styles too that I hear are just as good like the pouch or the sling. I love how our very own Filipino entrepreneurs have come up with products like these, and how there are babywearing groups in the Philippines who advocate this because of all the benefits it gives to baby and the parents. Ours being one of those cultures, who often carries babies anyway, babywearing isn't such a surprise! So much to say on this too! But let this suffice for now, and I hope you do your own little research to know more.

Babywearing keeps your baby close to you mimicking the womb experience even while you do other  things, and this is something Daddy can do too!
 

My first batch of HHN products...

Being a first time mom has given me that adrenaline to search for the best and most affordable products for my baby. I'm sure you feel the same protective instinct too that also gives you the desire to give him/her only the good. Ha! That sounds similar to Human Heart Nature's (HHN) blurb! Hansy used their baby wash, lotion and wonder oil. Now that he is more than a year old, we switched to the kid's body wash. We also use their 100% natural Bug Shield Oil. Rediscovering HHN here is a blessing for me! They sell only organic natural products,  they keep the baby away from harmful chemicals, and the best part is that they are more affordable than your average organic lines out there! Plus, I love their advocacy: Pro-Philippines, Pro-Poor, and Pro-Environment. Aside from the physical stores all over the country, they have an online shop (www.humanheartnature.com) that is very informative. They also have a lot of dealers (including me), and have the best customer service.(Oh yeah! They have the if-you're-not-satisfied-we-give-you-back-your-money guarantee.) With a little effort, I'm sure you can find them!

There is something satisfying in knowing that what touches your baby's skin is healthy and natural. (No, Human Heart Nature isn't paying me to advertise, but I heartily recommend their products for you and your child! Teehee!)

Hansy is now a very active and assertive one-year-and-half toddler, and I am amazed at how fast his first few months of life have gone by--the first few months of rapid development. We would often jokingly tell him how we miss the jerky little baby who slept a lot and cried with an uwahhh-uwahhhh! So take a lot of photos and videos! Record his voice. Keep a lock of his hair. Keep a diary on his progress, and your feelings at each stage. Savor every moment because they slip by too quickly. Their transition from being a baby to becoming a toddler is full of wide-eyed-wonder beauty that you want to hold on to and remember. (I can't help thinking how amazing God is!)

 Bottom line is help yourself keep as much memory as you can because our brain tends to relegate these little moments to the back of the "closet" as the months and years go by. (Or is that just me? hehe...)

With Suon Julien and Mommy KC...

This is just a glimpse of the overwhelming but beautiful transition of becoming a mother. We all have different circumstances, different personalities, and different lifestyles that will color how we make decisions on raising our child, and that is a welcome diversity! I appreciate all those who've gone through this path before me, those who are currently traversing it along with me, and those who are at the brink of walking this path filled with both joy and pain, and tears and laughter. Truly, I appreciate my Mamaski even more now that I know first hand just what it takes to be called Mama.

In the end, I think motherhood is like wearing your heart outside of yourself, and watch it crawl, walk and stumble around to adulthood :). And all you can do is pray, love, lend a hand and ultimately...let go (sigh).

P.S.
Belated Happy International Women's Day everyone!